Boundaries & Taboos

Welcome to Loveology University’s sneak preview video course on Boundaries & Taboos.  This in-depth course will teach you how to be compassionate, open, and non-judgemental when it comes to your client’s unique sexual expressions.

Rather than judging paraphilias and fetishes as negative or taboo, Sex Coaches should seek to help their clients in a sex positive way, rather than thought of as deviant or abnormal.  Instead we see these fetishes as unique sexual expressions along a sliding continuum of diverse sexual practises.  Many of the sexual practices that we see as “normal” today such as anal sex, masturbation and even BDSM, were once thought of as deviant, wrong and even illegal.

What is Taboo?

“One man’s delicacy is another man’s taboo.”—Doctor Who

Webster’s Definition of Taboo:

1. A prohibition imposed by social custom or as a protective measure

adj. Banned on grounds of morality or taste

What Sexual Taboo Means

• Promiscuous
• Inappropriate to talk about
• Media says it’s inappropriate
• Goes against sodomy laws
• General public considers it “uncomfortable”

Least Sexually Active Culture

Inis Beag (Anthropological name) (real name: Inis Oírr / Inisheer), an isolated Irish Catholic community on an island just off the coast of Connemara, Ireland, is considered be the most sexually repressed culture in the world.  They live in accordance with sex as taboo.  The sexual practices we considered normal are extremely taboo in their society including:

• Talk of pregnancy = taboo
• Talk of menstruation = taboo
• Undressing = taboo
• Seeing your spouse naked = taboo
• Foreplay = inconceivable
• Orgasm = rare
• Sex = unhealthy
• Nudity = forbidden

In Inis Beag, women are expected to endure sex and refusing intercourse is a mortal sin. Men believe that sexual activity weakens them and there is a high percentage of celibate males.

In Inis Beag, sex is so taboo is so powerful that although they are a fishing community and rely on fishing for survival, the people there don’t know how to swim, as swimming may requite showing skin or nudity.  Therefore, if they are in a boating accident, they might die.  The sexual taboo of Inis Beag is very powerful.

Most Sexually Active Culture

In contrast with Inis Beag, Mangaia is thought by anthropologists to be the most sexually active culture.  Mangaia is the southern most island in the Cook Islands, near New Zealand. Boys and girls are encouraged to:

Have sex an average of three times day with as many partners as possible in as many positions as possible giving their partners 2-3 orgasms per sexual experience.

By comparing the two cultures, we can see that sexual activity and sexual responsiveness are culturally-patterned.

What is a Paraphilia?

Wikipedia describes a paraphilia as “(previously known as sexual perversion and sexual deviation) the experience of intense sexual arousal to atypical objects, situations, fantasies, behaviors, or individuals.  Such attraction may be labeled sexual fetishism.  No consensus has been found for any precise border between unusual sexual interests and paraphilic ones.”

Paraphilia (in Greek para παρά = besides and – philia φιλία = love)—in psychology and sexology, is a term that describes a family of persistent, intense fantasies, aberrant urges, or behaviors involving sexual arousal to nonhuman objects, pain or humiliation experienced by oneself or one’s partner, children, or nonconsenting individuals or unsuitable partners.

Degrees of Paraphilia

• Optional: The paraphilia is part of a person’s sexual repertoire. It is an alternative to more conventional fantasies and behaviors but is not necessary or favored.
• Preferred: Being active in the paraphilia feels better for the individual than not.
• Exclusive: In order for the individual to become aroused the paraphilia needs be incorporated through fantasy and or reality.

Some Interesting and Unusual Paraphilias

• Leg Brace Devotees – Sexual attraction to people wearing leg or spinal braces.
• Acrotomophilia — Sexual attraction to amputees.
• Hirsutophilia – Sexual attraction to body hair, including lots of armpit and pubic hair.
• Maschalagnia – Sexual attraction to armpit odor.
• Hematolagnia – Sexual attraction to drinking blood.
• Odaxelagnia – Sexually aroused from biting and being bitten.
• Squeeze Play – The sexual thrill of being dominated by female bodybuilders who can pin men down in wrestling matches.

Fetishism

Don’t worry, it only seems kinky the first time. ~Author Unknown

A fetish is an object or bodily part whose real or fantasized presence is psychologically necessary for sexual gratification and that is an object of fixation to the extent that it may interfere with complete sexual expression.

The use of non-sexual or nonliving objects or part of a person’s body to gain sexual excitement. Examples include:

• Balloon fetishism
• Breast fetishism
• Foot fetishism
• Fur fetishism
• Leather fetishism
• Lipstick fetishism
• Medical fetishism
• Panty fetishism
• Robot fetishism
• Rubber fetishism
• Shoe fetishism
• Smoking fetishism

History of Masturbation

Masturbation: the primary sexual activity of mankind. In the nineteenth century it was a disease; in the twentieth, it’s a cure. ~Thomas Szasz

Masturbation was once thought of as a sin and a disease during the 18^th and 19^th centuries. Today it is celebrated as a natural, healthy act and even has its own month in May.

• Judeo-Christian tradition denounced masturbation in their translation of Genesis 38.
• Onan was required to procreate with Judah’s widow, but refused, and “spilled his seed” on the ground instead. This is the origin of the term onanism (The Sin of Onan).
• Unfortunately, it gives masturbation sin status when Onan’s actual perceived crime was coitus interruptus or withdrawal.
• 1800s was when masturbation was first associated with mental and physical illness.

Masturbation Benefits

Masturbation has many health benefits!

• A normal and healthy part of “maturing“
• Explores our own bodies
• Pleasurable and erotic
• Promotes self confidence
• Safe sex activity
• Natural stress reliever
• Helps treat sexual dysfunctions
• Helps you connect with yourself; self-love

Cultural Taboos About Anal Sex

Obscenity is whatever gives the Judge an erection. ~Author Unknown

• In the past, anal sex was illegal in some states because it was considered an act of sodomy.
• Due to the negative connotation of anal sex, many people consider this a sexual taboo.
• Looked at as a dirty, smelly, unclean, unhealthy, etc. activity.
• Many people believe that anal sex is intended only for homosexual couples.
• In reality, anal sex can stimulate both the male and female G-Spot, thus giving your partner an incredibly deep and satisfying orgasm.
• Approximately 40% of heterosexual couples have tried anal sex at least once.
• Some people love it, even preferring anal sex over vaginal intercourse.
• Others think of it as an exit only, no entrance allowed.
• Communication is key during anal sex, make sure your partner is comfortable and the rate of penetration is satisfactory.

2002 National Survey of Family Growth (NSFG) conducted study on over 12,000 men and women aged 15 to 44. They found:

• 34% of men
• 30% of women reported engaging in anal sex at least once

Today’s sneak peek video is all about Boundaries & Taboos, a comprehensive digital course that will teach you everything you need to know about how to develop an intimate through effective communication, available via our Certified Relationship Coach program!

This exclusive course on Boundaries & Taboos includes a Narrated Multimedia Video Course and PDF eBook, extra Video Training: Ask The Expert – Paraphilia & Fetishism with Dr. Hernando Chaves, BDSM & Role playing: Erotic Confidence For Women With Kinky Desires with Mistress Minax, Plus!, you will learn:

• Boundaries & Taboos
• What culture hides beneath the sheets
• What is a taboo?
• Taboos & society
• Clinical sexology list of Taboos
• Sex as taboo
• Nudism
• Sacred prostitution
• Homosexuality
• Masturbation
• Incest
• Westermarck effect
• Shaving
• Porn
• Sex toys
• Bdsm
• Pony play
• Hanky codes
• Anal sex
• Multiple partners
• Cheating
• Free love
• Polyamory
• Piercings
• Public sex
• Exhibitionism
• Voyeurism
• Sploshing
• Furries
• Paraphilias
• Fetishism
• Asphyxiation
• Necrophilia
• Coprophilia
• Mysophilia
• Klismaphili
• And Boundaries

This course is just a small component of our comprehensive Certified Relationship Coach program.

Take a look at our Certified Relationship Coach program NOW to see all of the courses available when you sign up to become a Certified Relationship Coach!