LoveWork by Sagias Emmanouil Christos

LoveWork is a reflective writing exercise designed for the students in our coaching programs at Loveology University. It offers a chance for them to dive deeper into their personal growth journeys, explore thoughts on love and relationships, and apply the principles they’re learning. Each LoveWork entry encourages our students to express themselves and gain insights, guiding them toward a more fulfilling, loving life.

Below is a LoveWork submission from Bianca Baymon, a Love Coaching Graduate

Write down how Covid has impacted Flirting and Dating

First of all, according to the book “Love in the Time of Corona” of Dr. Diana Wiley, in which it is referred that the pandemic period is likened to the terrorist attacks in 2001. That means there are lots of consequences in human psychology like traumas, for instance fear, uncertainty and not to mention the grief. People have become more fearful and vulnerable to strong feelings, which may energize their primal sex drive.

Also, the COVID-19 pandemic has had a significant impact on flirting and dating, as social distancing guidelines and lockdowns have limited opportunities for in-person interactions. One of the most significant changes in dating during the pandemic has been the rise of virtual dating. With the closure of bars, restaurants, and other public places, people turned to video chat and other virtual platforms to connect with potential partners. Dating apps saw a surge in usage, and video dating became a popular way to get to know someone before meeting in person. However, the pandemic has also presented unique challenges for those trying to navigate the dating world. The lack of physical touch and the inability to meet in person have made it more difficult for people to form connections. Additionally, the uncertainty and stress of the pandemic have made it more challenging to maintain relationships. The pandemic has also changed the nature of flirting. With many people working from home, the lines between work and personal life have become blurred, making it more difficult to initiate and maintain flirtatious conversations.

Furthermore, masks and other protective measures have made it more challenging to read body language and other nonverbal cues, making it harder to tell when someone is interested in you. Overall, the COVID-19 pandemic has had a significant impact on flirting and dating. While virtual dating has provided a way for people to connect during the pandemic, the lack of physical touch and in-person interaction has made it more challenging to form meaningful connections. But, if we return of the point of view of Dr. Diana Wiley, she says that experiencing fear also stimulates the release of dopamine and testosterone as a way to prime our body for a fight-or-flight response. This powerful neurotransmitter in combination with adrenaline also stimulate the libido and motivate us to seek pleasurable rewards.

In conclusion, despite the negative impacts of pandemic period in human psychology like social distancing etc, there was an increased use in dating apps (as opposed to the face-to face communication) and maybe also an opportunity for greater sex in couples, who lived together.

Write a dialog between you and a Sexual Harasser, with a resolution that deflects your harasser.

First of all, I would try to understand the feelings of the person that has suffered from a Sexual Harasser and through specific questions, I would create an appropriate environment, where they could express their feelings and of course, I wouldn’t push them to tell me more- if he/she doesn’t feel comfortable. I will accept their personal boundaries.

For the following, dialogue the “T” -> is used for the person that has suffered from a Sexual Harasser and “M” -> is used for me.

(Prologue)

M: «I promise you that, what we are going to discuss is going to be COMPLETELY and ABSOLUTELY CONFIDENTIAL and reticent».

So, if you are ready, shall we begin?

Τ: Yes.

M: First of all, I would like to thank you for your trust and at my point of view, I will try to help to the fullest to overcome that experience. Secondly, you can say whatever you feel that you can say. I will not push you say more, if you don’t want to.

T: Thank you.

M: So, would you like to tell me some things about that night ?

T: Well, I was walking through the street, when I actually heard someone call my name. I wondered if I knew him and how he knows my name. So, I stopped walking and turned back. I thought that I had meet him once before, when I saw his face, but couldn’t remember the place. Maybe in the subway station, but I wasn’t sure. Initially, he approached me in a very kind way: asking me about directions. So, I tried to help him by explaining him how to go where he wanted. Suddenly, while I was speaking, I observed his face expression and he was starring my breast. Afterward, he made one step forward and came closer. I felt a little bit stressed and anxious, so I looked at my feet. He get the chance to smell my hair. When, I understand that his face was above of my head, I felt that something was wrong. Suddenly, he caught my hand and he tried to kiss me, while he was holding my hands. Ι panicked and I was afraid. I made a step back, but he kept holding my hands and trying to kiss me, now in the breast. “Please Stop, Now- what are you doing there!”. But, he continued and he touched my breast with the other hand. That time, I felt awful, disappointed and an abominable emotion of shame. I couldn’t control it but I began to cry, without even to realize it. Then, he put his hand through my shirt and after he touched my breast, he moved to my abdomen and tried to touch my undershirt and my pubic area, where he almost did it. I screamed “STOP” 2 times, but he didn’t. Then, I screamed “HELP”, when from the next narrow street a couple of a young man and a woman begin to run in order to come close to me. When, he understood it, he push me down to the street and began to run. The young man helped me to get up from the ground and he helped me to sit to a little bench near there, while the young woman tried to gather the things of my bag, which had fallen down, when previously he has grabbed my hands. They asked me, if I am fine, but I couldn’t recover from the sock. I was so afraid, so scared. I thought my heart was going to break. I felt alone, helpless and I couldn’t walk. Thanks to the God, the young man could a taxi and he drived me home. I will not trust again no one that asking me questions in the street.

M: Ok, firstly thank you for sharing that and you understand that this is something that happened and belongs to the past. Primarily, I would like to give you some specific advice, just in case that you see somebody to do that in any other person.

Well, in case that happens again to you a similar occurrence, you automatically should say: “Do not come closer”, “Go stand over there”, «ΝΟ», «Don’t touch me, that is harassment!” or “Take your hands of me, Right Now!” in a more mandatory, imperative and serious way with strong voice in order to show directly your Boundaries. Repeat, all of them in case that he persists.

You have to show with your whole Body Language that you are not going to accept anything. A strong eye contact, with your shoulders back, your head up without any smile or timidness in order to keep and show your boundaries. Of course, ask, as you already did, for help and that was very important and significant that you did.
In addition, you could stand your hand and say “Stop” or “Do not come closer”.

Secondly, you have to call 911- the Universal Emergency Number for citizens throughout the United States to request emergency assistance. It is intended as a nationwide telephone number and gives the public fast and easy access to a Public Safety Answering Point (PSAP), where you will be located in that moment.

Afterwards, you could call the police and make a complaint. That what happened is a serious crime and you have to deal it like that way.

Also, in case of a rape, you have to take a ‘’rape kit’’ completed immediately. This, you can get it from a hospital or clinic and will be useful to collect more evidences.

Is it fine until now ? Shall we continue?
T: Sure …

M: Ok, and the most important thing that you have to do is to contact with your local Sexual Assault Center to seek counseling. Also, you could call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-4673. It is 24/7.

Furthermore, if the harasser is in the car- take note of his license plate number, in order to collect more evidences and report them to the police. Whatever evidence of him, you could take note from his appearance to the way of talking, the means (car, vehicle) that he used (the color, the car brand, the license plate number etc), if there was any other person with him.
You have to defend yourself by each and every way that you can.

Last but not least, you have to stay on your own agenda: you don't need to respond to questions, diversions, threats, blaming, guilt-tripping, and so on. Just stick to your point.

Is everything alright until now?

Τ: Yes and thank you for all of your advices, but how could I prevent this happened again?

M: Well, actually the most significant thing here is empathy. It’s very important to put him in your shoes. And how you could that?

First of all, there are two levels.

The first one is that you could say, for instance, “How could you feel if someone touches you without asking?”- “Wouldn’t it feel awkward or even annoying?”, “Don’t you think that there are some personal boundaries and we have to respect them?”. Namely, by doing invocation to himself. Also, you could try the candid camera test: «Would you feel comfortable having a videotape of the behavior shown to your spouse or co-workers ?»

But, if you see that he persists, you should make it more mandatory by saying: ‘’Would you like some stranger to do that to your sister, to your wife or even your mother?”, “How would that make you feel?”. This is the second level. In that way, he is going to understand how disrespectful and unacceptable is what he is doing and for sure he is going to stop.
Last but not least, you will warn him for the legal consequences of his actions. The violation of Human Rights (by that mean the touching without asking, the verbal/physical or sexual violence etc) is being prosecuted.

Therefore, I praise and thank you for your decision to sharing that and in case of a rape or if there will be some physical/emotional or sexual consequences, I recommend to you to see a Sex Therapist. Ok?

T: Thank you very much for understanding and your advice.

M: Thank you too, …. (name of the client). At your disposal, any time you want.

Write an Aphrodisiac Menu of Appetizers, Main Course and Desserts

First of all, there are a lot of Aphrodisiac foods and drinks. However, here are some of them in order to create an incredible night with your lover:

Appetizers
Oysters or Mussels with basil and green herbs: the most known aphrodisiac food, with high content of Zinc in order to boost testosterone.
Phallic endives salad with almonds and passion dressing (such as mustard and a drop of honey): endives contain niacin, Vitamin B6 and folate. It also contains thiamin (one of the B vitamins – B1), fibre, iron and potassium, as well as many nutrients considered to have anti-inflammatory properties, including Vitamin C, folate and beta-carotene.
Artichoke Dip: Artichokes contain antioxidants that can help improve blood flow and promote relaxation

Main Course
Linguini with salmon and dill or safran: also contain high levels of zinc, which can boost the testosterone levels.
Lobster Risotto: Lobster is rich in zinc and has been used as an aphrodisiac since ancient times. Paired with creamy risotto, this dish can be both decadent and sensual.

Desserts
Fetish Chocolate Mousse: where chocolate activates the part of the brain that feels sex is triggered.
Walnuts with honey and cinnamon: nuts and honey, which is high in
antioxidants, zinc, and sexual energy makes a wonderful “sexy, spicy and sweet” combination with one of the most erotic aroma for men, which is the cinnamon

Write a research study on the latest statistics on Consent and Safer Sex

Consent and safer sex practices are essential aspects of sexual health that have been increasingly emphasized in recent years. The #MeToo movement, which created by Tarana Burke in 2017 has brought attention to the importance of consent, while the ongoing HIV epidemic and rising rates of sexually transmitted infections (STIs) have highlighted the need for safer sex practices.

The main purpose of the following paragraphs is that I select to make a research study on the latest statistics (more specifically findings from 2021 & 2022) on Consent and Safer Sex, according to studies, which being conducted in Australia, Michigan (of USA), Canada, Sweden and India.

The main purpose of the following paragraphs is that I select to make a research study on the latest statistics (more specifically findings from 2021 & 2022) on Consent and Safer Sex, according to studies, which being conducted in Australia, Michigan (of USA), Canada, Sweden and India.

According to the “7th National survey of secondary students and sexual health 2022”, which was conducted from La Trobe University in Australia among 6.841 secondary students from each state and territory of Australia, and was published 22/12/2022, reveals that “while most sexually active Australian secondary school students report positive sexual experiences, the use of condoms is falling amongst young people”. Although that more young people are sexually active now than earlier, the condom use has dropped from 59% to 49%.

That fact has also increase the STI’s rates and Associate Professor Jennifer Power also highlighted the high rate of unwanted sex reported in the survey, noting that nearly in 1/4 young people surveyed had experienced unwanted sex. This figure was even higher among young women, trans and non-binary young people.

Some more findings of the survey include:
61% of young people were sexually active. The number of young people reporting that they are sexually active has increased over time.
94% thought young people should use condoms with new partner, although only 57% thought condom use with a new partner was common among people their age.
86% had viewed online pornography at least once, 14% viewed pornography daily or weekly.
80% had received a nude or sexual photo.
96% agreed that care needed to be taken when sending or receiving nude or sexual images, however over 60% agreed that sexting helped them learn about their own, or their partner’s, sexuality.
24% reported at least one experience of unwanted sex.

All these findings make imperative the need of sex education about the risks of not using a condom and STI’s consequences. Not to mention the necessity of Consent, because 1/4 of students, who report that had sex without their will is a very high rate. Furthermore, as we see from findings, we suppose that online information about sex (and that include also pornography) maybe constitutes the main source of education for young people.

Now, we move to University of Michigan students.

In November 2022, the Statement and Web team of University of Michigan distributed a survey to all 51,225 University of Michigan students on the Ann Arbor campus, both undergraduate and graduate. Of those, being received 4,915 respondents — a sample your STATS 250 professor would approve of.
Demographic results indicate that 18% of the respondents were freshmen, 19% sophomores, 19% juniors, 20% seniors and 24% graduate students. 59% of respondents identify as being a woman, 36% as men, 3% as non-binary, 1% as gender-queer and 1% as other. The distribution of respondents’ sexual orientation was recorded as 63% heterosexual, 18% bisexual, 7% lesbian/gay, 5% queer, 3% asexual, 2% pansexual and 2% other.

From the findings here, it turned out that the majority of students use condoms (‘male condoms’ or ‘female condoms’) to ensure safe-sex. Additionally, 38% of students have used or are currently using some form of contraceptive, be it the birth control pill, IUD, implant, etc. Again, it is important to note that the survey questions surrounding contraception aligned mostly with heterosexual sex and consequentially did not collect data on PrEP users, etc.

A majority of student respondents (30%) first learned about sex through the internet/social media, followed by through friends at 24%. Hence, the education system still appears to be lacking in terms of sufficient sex-ed, as only 17% of respondents first learned about sex from school. And regardless of when and how respondents first learned about sex, 40% perceive their sex education as a largely negative experience that was both uninformative and unhelpful.

Though, there was 10% of students who rely on withdrawal and the 2% who do not use any form of safe sex practice.

Furthermore, in the past year (2021), 81% of students have not utilized University medical resources to check in on their sexual health, whether it be STI testing, OB/GYN appointments, etc. Additionally, 17% of students report that they have never asked their sexual partners about their sexual history. So next time you ‘get down,’ perhaps talk with your partner about their sexual past and schedule a STI test through UHS.

When asked about: “How sex education could be improved ?”, many write-in responses indicated the need for outlined steps to achieve female pleasure, how to engage in queer sex, clear definitions of consent, ways to detect sexual coercion and a comprehensive list of the best safe-sex practices.

As for now, the Sexual Consent in this survey:
Respondents, who have experienced mostly negative sexual experiences provided their reasoning via free response, the most common responses involving sexual assault trauma, coercion, toxic hook-up culture, intoxication, faking satisfaction and poor communication of consent and expectations. The data supports such reasoning, as 37% of respondents believe that a verbal “yes” is not the only way to consent to sexual activity and 26% believe affirmative consent does not have to be granted while sober. There appears to be a clear disconnect between what consent is and in what context it can be granted. 

And when it comes to stating sexual preferences:
32% of students are only somewhat comfortable giving directions to their partner.

27% are comfortable only if they have an established relationship with their partner. Miscommunication in combination with a socially-constructed prioritization for the heterosexual man’s sexual satisfaction are potential explanatory variables for the lack of communication occurring in intimate situations across campus.

This is furthered by the fact that 50% of students report they occasionally fake sexual satisfaction
And 8% faking satisfaction often.

Next is a Canadian Research, where the results were published 23/11/2022, named “More than half of Canadians don't understand sexual consent: survey”.

More specifically, 55% of Canadians do not understand the legal definition of sexual consent, suggests a recent survey conducted by Maru Public Opinion and commissioned by the Canadian Women’s Foundation (CWF).

According to Canada’s Criminal Code, consent is the voluntary and ongoing agreement to engage in sexual activity, which can be withdrawn at any time.

Out of a random selection of 1,511 Canadian adults who were surveyed on 18-19/10/2022, less than half (45 per cent) of the respondents demonstrated an understanding of the consensual sexual activity that meets the legal threshold.

Those, who successfully met this threshold were almost equally women and men under the age of 54. This age group also demonstrated a better understanding of sexual consent than their older counterparts above the age of 55, the survey found.

Those who had an understanding of consent are more likely to reside in:

Alberta (49%),
British Columbia (48%),
followed by those living in Manitoba, Saskatchewan and Ontario (47%),
Atlantic Canada (42%)
and Québec (39%).

Last year, the definition of consent under sexual assault law came under scrutiny when a B.C. man was charged with sexual assault after assuring a woman that he would wear a condom.
In July, the Supreme Court of Canada ruled that sex with a condom is a different physical act than sex without one, and that the use of a condom can be a condition of consent under sexual assault law.

Canada's top court said that that saying yes to sex with the condition that a condom is used is not the same as saying yes to sex without conditions. In other words, consent needs to be given again, if the use of a condom was not previously agreed upon. 

According to Statistics Canada data published in 2019, 4.7 million women – or 30% of all women aged 15 and older – have experienced sexual assault that did not involve an intimate partner. The statistics suggest that some women and people of color, particularly Indigenous women, 2SLGBTQIA+ individuals, women with disabilities, and younger women are more likely to experience sexual assault.

This current survey demonstrates that 42% of Canadians know a woman who has been sexually assaulted.

Now, we move to Sweden.

“Analysing intersecting social resources in young people’s ability to suggest safer sex - results from a national population” based survey in Sweden and was published in 4/7/2022 in BMC public health by Anna ChuChu Schindele Kristina Areskoug Josefsson & Malin Lindroth.

The sample of 7.755 in the total Swedish population of young people. The SRHR-focused questionnaire was developed within the HIV-monitoring program at the Public Health Agency of Sweden.

The results showed that young people’s control over their lives is associated with their ability for safer sex. Due to this, control over one’s life can be seen as a resource for safer sex. The associations in the 12 intersecting social positions showed complex patterns.

The intersections of resources show the complexity and that gender cannot account for all differences in the resources for young people’s ability to suggest safer sex. Implications for policy and practitioners involve both addressing and strengthening the sexual rights of young people from sexual minorities and tailoring interventions in a way that takes the intersections between gender and sexual identity into consideration.

The hypothesis was that feeling able, i.e. ability, to suggest and thus start to negotiate safer sex is one aspect of life that young people may consider when self-assessing how in control they feel. In order to fulfil the aim of the survey, it was used the outcome variable:

“I felt that I could suggest and use a condom or other contraceptive if I wanted to”, with the alternatives, “Yes”, “No” or “I don’t know”.
The outcome variables were dichotomized into one (yes) and zero (No and I don’t know.)

The outcome variable was analyzed in relation to the exposure variable “I have control over my life” with the alternatives “Completely agree”, “Completely disagree” and “Unsure”.

The conclusion is that young people’s control over their life situation can be defined as a social resource for the ability for safer sex, sexual health and SRHR for young men, women and non-binary gendered persons. However, gender cannot account for all differences in resources for sexual health and needs to be complemented with an intersectional perspective, and thus transformed into an intersectional resource gradient for safer sex. Implications for policy and practitioners would involve addressing and improving gender equality and sexual rights relating to young people from sexual. minorities, and tailoring interventions in a way that takes the intersections between gender and sexual identity into consideration.

Last, but not least we move to India. An article with the title: “Age of consent: challenges and contradictions of sexual violence laws in India” is being published 22/2/2021 by Amita Pitre and Lakshmi Lingam.

India enacted a new child sexual abuse law in 2012 and made important changes to the rape law in 2013 to expand the definition of rape and sexual assault, introduce several reforms and improve gender sensitivity in rape trials. However, the child sexual abuse law with its definition of who is a child has increased the age of consent for sex from 16 years to 18 years, echoed by similar changes in the rape law. This paper revisits the debates on the age of consent in India in the late nineteenth century. It reviews them in the light of the new legislative changes, adjudication of cases of sexual assault, and examines the implications of the new laws on adolescents and their sexuality.

India introduced the Protection of Children from Sexual Offences (POCSO) Act, 2012, which provided for the first time in the country's legislation, a comprehensive and graded definition of sexual assault against children. The Act defines a range of penetrative and non-penetrative sexual assaults and stipulates penal provisions for the same. POCSO has been widely welcomed for filling the void in legislation against sexual assault experienced by children, including boys and trans-persons under the age of 18. Close on the heels of this legislation, the Indian Penal Code (IPC) Sections 375 (defining rape), 376 (providing punishment for rape) and 354 (providing definitions and penal provisions for sexual harassment) were amended in 2013 against the background of a shocking gang rape in 2012 in New Delhi. The Criminal Law Amendment (CLA) Act, 2013, which includes the rape law amendments, expanded the definition of rape from an offence limited to non-consensual peno-vaginal penetration to a range of penetrative and non-penetrative sexual assaults without consent, including penetration of the vagina, anus, and urethra by the penis, objects or other body parts; penetration of the mouth with the penis and application of the mouth to the vagina, urethra or anus without consent. While the POCSO, 2012 and CLA Act 2013 are distinct criminal laws, they are used in conjunction in the case of all sexual assaults faced by girls under the age of 18 years. Age of consent, as per law, is the age at which a girl may be legally considered mature enough to give consent for sexual activity, especially sexual intercourse. It is presumed that a person is incapable of consenting to sexual activity below the age of consent. Therefore, any sexual activity before this age is equated to statutory rape. Before 2012, the age of consent was 16 years for girls as provided under the Indian Penal Code, section 375, and has been so since the year 1940. POCSO law, 2012 is a special law that raised the age of consent to 18 years, for both boys and girls, followed by an amendment to the Indian Penal Code through the, CLA Act, 2013, which did the same.

Bibliography

La Trobe University, National Survey of Australian Secondary Students and Sexual Health, “Survey reveals teens' attitudes to sexual health”, 22/12/2022, Australia.

Julia Verklan, The Statement 2022 Sex Survey, 7/12/2022, University of Michigan.

Rhythm Sachdeva, “More than half of Canadians don't understand sexual consent: survey”, 23/11/2022.

Anna ChuChu Schindele, Kristina Areskoug Josefsson & Malin Lindroth, BMC Public Health, “Analysing intersecting social resources in young people’s ability to suggest safer sex - results from a national population-based survey in Sweden”, 4/7/2022.

Amita Pitre and Lakshmi Lingam, Sexual and Reproductive Health Matters (SRHM) “Age of consent: challenges and contradictions of sexual violence laws in India”, 22/2/2021.

Write a list of Adult Toys you would recommend for all genders and sexualities.

The following list is going to be categorized by:

Body sex toys for all Genders and Sexualities
Oral sex toys for all Genders and Sexualities
Sex toys for genital area for all Genders and Sexualities

Sex toys for Body
The Hitachi Wand is the most appropriate sex toy for all Genders and Sexualities, due to the fact that it can be used to whole human body and can create a unique sensation, through its vibrations.
The second one that I would recommend is a Sex Cushion. It contributes to greater results in various sex positions (missionary, elephant/greyhound position, woman- on- top -> where here the man or the person who lies use the cushion etc) and provides more comfort, especially when the partners decide to have sex in public space.

Last, but not least for those who want more “spicy” content, I would recommend Fluffy cuffs, which are a common way for people to test bondage and if they like it. Actually, I consider this sex toy, one of the most easy- transitional ways to more kinky sexual adventure between partners. And if they are both consent, then I would recommend paddles and slappers to continue their adventurous sexual game.

Oral Sex toys
Beyond the shadow of a doubt, we could not fail to mention the Flavored Lubes. Flavors like sorbet raspberry, cherry, Astroglide strawberry, passion punch, frutopia mango passion etc make the senses of smelling and tasting get on top right now and the oral journey begins.

Oral vibrators are the second oral sex, which I would recommend. They can be used also for all genders and sexualities.

Sex toys for genital area
In my view, the “We- vibe” is one of the greatest sex toy that could someone use. For a man, it could stimulate the Prostate, simultaneously with his perineum, therefore he could have a Bi-gasm. On the other side, for a woman it could stimulate her clitoris and the G-spot and so she can have a Bi-gasm too. The embryonic tissue from which is being made the Prostate of the man and the G-spot of the woman are very sensitive to massaging and the soft touch of this sex toy. Either someone prefers use it during masturbation/ mutual masturbation, or during sexual intercourse, the result is a high level of pleasure. Not to mention the fact that this sex toy is a multi-faceted toy for women, men and couples — straight or gay.

Now, let’s move to Butt plugs. There is a wide variety of different sizes, colors, with or without tail, with skinny or thick neck etc. Whatever the preferation is, it could be used by each and every person.

Some of the signs of a good plug are that:

they are made from 100% silicone
they are condom- friendly
they are smooth with no edges
they are short with skinny neck
with rounded and narrow tip

As, we talking about anal pleasure, let’s not forget the Enema Bags. One way of anal cleansing for everyone who likes anal sex and could been used also from heterosexual men, before using any butt plug, “we-vibe” or any other sex toy for anal pleasure.
Last, but not least the top sex toy for each and every gender, every sexuality and also for multiple pleasure is the Tri-gasm. An unique sex toy, created by Dr. Ava Cadell, founder of Loveology University. It can stimulates simultaneously testicles, perineum and P-spot in men, also in women it stimulates clitoris, the G-spot and anus. It can offer multiple pleasure and orgasms.

So, this is the final list of the recommended sex toys:
Hitachi Wand
Sex Cushion
Fluffy cuffs
Paddles and Slappers
Flavored Lubes
Oral vibrators
We- vibe
Butt plugs
Enema Bags
Tri-gasm

Of course, the most important and significant is the condom. The mutual respect, the protection and the safer sex is vital importance and we have always keep it in our minds.

Write down your definition of Sex Positivity

Sex positivity encourages open and honest communication about sexual desires and boundaries, promotes comprehensive sex education, and supports people of all genders, orientations, and identities.

Sex positivity is a movement and mainly an attitude that promotes and celebrates healthy, consensual sexual expression and exploration, free from shame, stigma, or discrimination. In order to give an appropriate definition of Sex Positivity, we have to make a step back and think about the relationship with ourselves. The way that we express our sexual desires and boundaries is a mirror of what we believe about ourselves.

More specifically, answering the following questions could help us to realize more about the relationship with our-selves:

How do I feel about my body?
How do I feel about my genital area?
How do I feel about the way, that I express my sexual/erotic self?
How do I communicate it to others (my partners etc)?
How do I feel about a person, who has different sexual orientation?

Sex positivity does not mean only thinking or even believing that sex is positive, good, healthy or it is about sharing pleasure etc.

Let’s remember what Dr. Tamara Griffin said: “Sexuality has more aspects than them we know. Sexuality has social, legal, biological, political, physical, spiritual and more aspects.” Taking that in consideration, we could say that sex positivity has also wide spectrum. Self-acceptance is the cornerstone of Sex Positivity. Self – acceptance for each and every part of our physical, emotional, mental and spiritual body. That means that we love our body, we admire our genital area, where the sexual/ vital energy is located. We do not allow to anybody to mishandle or use it without our permission or consent. Also, to embrace our sexuality without judgment or shame and do not feel any gender dysphoria, as it happens sometimes in transgender people (before the surgery). At its core, sex positivity seeks to empower individuals to make informed and responsible choices about their sexual lives, while respecting the rights and autonomy of others. It also advocates for social and political changes that promote sexual health, equality and justice.

Write a Healing Meditation or Affirmation

The purpose of the following Meditation is to help someone to get in touch with their genital area, especially after a sexual harassment or assault.
So, by visualizing that white healing light is coming out through their palms- they put their palms up to their genital area and the meditation is following:

I love you – I love you and I accept you, I accept you just the way you are. I'm sorry- I'm sorry for every moment that I left you, didn't listen to you, hurt you, violated you or let you be violated. I love you – I love you and I accept you, just the way you are, because you – you are my home, you are my house. Within your Great Perfection - you hold my sexual energy, my life energy, my glowing fire. Every negative experience, every fear, every pain, every moment of violation, received from me or another one may it go NOW far-far away and be filled with Love- Love and Respect. I honor you – I love you, and I accept you. I accept you wholeheartedly, purely in all the greatness of your being, because you are my Healer, the gateway of pleasure, sensuality, the gateway of my strength and fertility. May all your essences, qualities and elements be expressed to the Highest Degree in all my fields. I NOW honor your Sacred Nature. I thank you for each and every moment and every pleasure that you gave me.
I honor you - I love you - I thank you for being HERE with me.

Write down some examples of Cultural Competence

First of all, it is important to give a definition to sex cultural competence. Sex cultural competence refers to the ability to understand and navigate the cultural beliefs, values, and norms that shape people's attitudes towards sex and sexuality. Here are some examples of sex cultural competence:
Respecting different sexual orientations: a sex cultural competent individual recognizes and accepts that people can have different sexual orientations, including homosexuality, bisexuality, and asexuality.
Understanding gender identity: a sex cultural competent individual understands that gender is not binary and that some people may identify as non-binary or transgender.
Being sensitive to cultural differences: a sex cultural competent individual recognizes that different cultures have different attitudes towards sex and sexuality and respects those differences.
Avoiding assumptions: a sex cultural competent individual avoids making assumptions about people's sexual preferences, practices, or experiences based on their gender, ethnicity, religion, or any other characteristic.
Using inclusive language: a sex cultural competent individual uses language that is inclusive of different sexual orientations and gender identities and avoids using language that is derogatory or offensive.
Providing non-judgmental care: a sex cultural competent healthcare provider provides non-judgmental care to all patients, regardless of their sexual orientation, gender identity, or sexual practices.
Educating oneself: a sex cultural competent individual educates themselves on issues related to sex and sexuality, including the impact of culture, race, and ethnicity on sexual health outcomes.

Write down how you would Coach an LGBTQ Client Coming Out.

Coming out can be a difficult and emotional experience for LGBTQ individuals. As a coach, it is important to create a supportive and non-judgmental environment for the client. Here are some steps, I would take in coaching an LGBTQ client coming out:

Establish trust and rapport: First of all, I will ensure that there is complete and utter confidentiality in order to feel more safely and though could express themself without judging. I could start by building a trusting relationship with the client. This can be achieved by actively listening to the client and showing empathy towards their situation. Let the client know that I am there to support them throughout their coming-out process.

Discuss their feelings and concerns: Encourage the client to share their thoughts and feelings about their sexual orientation or gender identity. I could ask mainly more open-ended questions to explore their concerns, fears, beliefs and acknowledge the challenges they may face in the coming-out process.

Provide education and resources: I will empower them not feel guilty or ashamed for what they want, look like or desire sexually and I will emphasize the fact that there are a lot of people that have different sexual orientation from heterosexual and it is fine. In order to comprehend it better- maybe I will a simple example of the fact that: each and every people has his personal preferences (in food, activities, in work)- the same happens also with out sexual orientation. If five people love pop music- it does not mean necessarily that everybody should love pop music. Of course, depending on the client's level of knowledge about LGBTQ issues, provide relevant education and resources to help them better understand their identity and the coming-out process. This can include articles, books, videos, or support groups.

Help them develop a coming-out plan: Work with the client to develop a personalized coming-out plan. This plan should take into account their unique situation, including their relationships, living situation, and workplace. Discuss potential challenges and brainstorm strategies for dealing with them.

Role-play scenarios: Practice role-playing scenarios with the client to help them feel more comfortable with the coming-out process. This can include rehearsing conversations with family members, friends, or coworkers. Not to mention the fact that I would try to reduce the “worse case scenario” that they have to their mind accordingly the situation of each client.

Encourage self-care: Coming out can be emotionally taxing, so it is important to encourage the client to prioritize self-care. This can include regular exercise, meditation, therapy, or taking time for themselves to engage in enjoyable activities. I will try to help them understand that when we love ourself and our body, we could also have better sexual and love relationships.

Follow up and support: Keep in touch with the client after they have come out. Check in on their progress and provide ongoing support as needed. Celebrate their successes and acknowledge the courage it took for them to come out.

In conclusion, coaching an LGBTQ client coming out requires sensitivity, empathy, and a non-judgmental attitude. By following these steps, a coach can help their client navigate the coming-out process with greater confidence and self-awareness.